So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
