She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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