another moral hangover. fuck.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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