FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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