I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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