As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
