I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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