kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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