Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i just google imaged poop.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
