I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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