Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
