I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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