I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
