Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Hippo gnu deer
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
