Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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