I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
