I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
