The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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