fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
