in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
