I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
