Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize
