thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
