No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
