I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
