You really coming over, don't trick.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
