the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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