that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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