Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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