im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
