I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
