i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
