I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
