I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Randomize
