I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
As shirtless as possible
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
