did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
