I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
