I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
