theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
