STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
