im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
