Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
