Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
