office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
