I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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