Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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