Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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