4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you traded sex for a burrito?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
