I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
