? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
